Julie

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 01:11:53 GMT

Things are going very well right now.

The car situation is more-or-less solved, so that's a huge weight off of my shoulders. Huge.

And despite the baby mouse decapitation, work is going well, too. We're still focusing on the same project, so I'm doing mostly the same thing all day every day, which is fine for me right now. There's been a lot of overtime, too, which is also fine for me 'cause I could use the money and an extra hour or two a day down in the barrier rooms isn't a huge deal. Especially since they play satellite radio over the PA system, and Friday was the 90's station (although, in 10 hours listening to it on Friday there was only one Backstreet Boys song...what gives? Where's the boy band love?).

Also, this couple came into JAX on Friday to give us a presentation: Basically, they found out their twin girls have a very rare genetic disease called Neimann Pick Type C, which disables the body's mechanisms that dispose of cholesterol, so it builds up in your liver, kidneys, bone marrow, and brain. It has been coined as "Childhood Alzheimers" because the build-up causes Alzheimer-like symptoms and will kill the girls before they reach their teens. The parents, who have absolutely no scientific background, have pursued scientists, the FDA, and drug companies in an attempt to find some kind of therapy for the disease. Of course drug companies aren't willing to put any money into it because only something like 500 people world-wide suffer from NPC, so they probably wouldn't make any money off of it. Academia is way too slow and has other agendas in research (you know, the whole publish or perish bit). Through their own research, they found a compound that basically acts like a garbage truck for cholesterol, and got the FDA to approve it for human use. The problem is that it only relieves their symptoms for a short time and they have to get an 8-hour drip of the stuff twice a week. So, now they want to create a mouse model for their kids' disease to do lots and lots of research on it, and they want to do it at JAX. I'm so excited! Once the mouse is created (in the next year or so at some lab in Australia or possibly at JAX in Maine) the colony would be grown and maintained by my department! And it's possible that one day down the road I could be involved in the research aspect, too--including the stem cell research the parents want to pursue. Oh boy!

My running is currently on the back-burner, though. I get up at 5 in the morning and usually don't get home 'till 4 or 5, and by then it's dark and I'm tired and the last thing I want to do is change into work-out gear and get my sweat on. I do miss it, though. I think once I get used to this schedule and get a daily routine, I'll be able to fit it in there somewhere. I'm trying not to guilt myself about it, and just realize that it's not going to happen right now, but that I'm not giving up forever.

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 18:37:25 GMT

Happy Turkey Day, everyone!!

Among many other things, this year I am thankful to all of the animals that are sacrificed to make our lives better. Without animal models for research on human conditions, there would be no therapies or cures or knowledge about any of them. :)\

**I don't know how to make a cut for text, or I would, but if you're about to eat or you're squeamish, it might be best to end on that note and stop reading**

On a less happy note, I have come to a make-or-break point at work. Yesterday I was trained on CO2 euthenasia and decapitation. The CO2 is fine because the animals just drift into unconsciousness and die peacefully and painlessly (when done correctly). But I'm having a really hard time with the decap. I understand that they are going to die one way or another, and that I should respect them enough to make sure it's done properly. That's easy to say, but when I have a baby mouse alive and squirming in my hands it's so hard to cut that life away (just FYI, you can't gas or cervical dislocate the mice under 7 days old because their lungs and bones aren't developed enough yet). Yesterday when we were learning I had to excuse myself for a moment so no one would see me getting emotional...but I think they did anyway, because they suggested I practice on ones that were already dead for a while. I'm either going to have to get used to it or change professions, because if I can't do this then I won't be able to learn or grow any more in this industry or in this job.

But happy Thanksgiving anyway!

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 04:40:23 GMT

I'm still arguing with my mom. I really got into it with her today because I told her I don't want to be baptised because it doesn't feel right to me. I'm not going to go into my reasons because I don't know all of your religious beliefs and backgrounds, and I'm not looking to offend anyone. It's just not for me. She says that if I don't believe in it then it should just be a little water on my head and no big deal just to do it to appease her, but it just doesn't sit well with me and I can't do it. I just keep having to tell her that I'll think about it so she'll leave me alone and we don't have to have these uncomfortable arguments. Generally, I believe in the golden rule and that you can believe in whatever you want to believe in as long as you don't try to push it on me or take away my rights. Is that so unreasonable?

I got to touch actual mice today at work! I learned how to sex mice as young as 1 day old (though its pretty tough that young unless you've got a boy and a girl right next to eachother to compare) and age mice from birth to about 14 days. Yay for learning! We're doing a project in which the client wants 15000 females and 5000 males, so we're making loooooots and looooots of babies! I'm going to be weaning for a few weeks, I think. Good practice for me :)

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 00:30:29 GMT

My best runs happen when when I'm under the most stress and pressure. Today was a really good one. Minus the shin splints, of course.

Nick's car was totalled, so now we only have the little old Accord. I don't know how much longer it's going to last... it already feels like it's going to rattle until pieces fly off every time you take it out on the freeway. Soooo, now I'm trying to figure out some way to afford payments for a new car and the increased insurance. Can I not get into any more accidents please? Pretty please??

The MBP lady got back to me and said she thinks I should keep my job at JAX for a while, and if I'm still interested in a year or two, they'll still be looking for good people. And while I'm definitly disappointed to not be getting my dream job, I do agree with her. I'll be getting a really good education on the fundamentals of mouse biology and mouse models in research at JAX, and I agree that I'd be cheating myself for the future if I skip it. So, I had myself a good little cry about it, and now I can just focus on this job and learning as much as I can. They are going to pay me and give me a bonus for taking a lab animal safety course and a genetics course, so I'm pretty excited about that.

I got in a fight with my mom last night. Without getting into too many details, basically she asked me to get baptised as a gift to her for xmas and I said no. I've always told her that I don't judge her for whatever system she wants to believe in, and I'm glad for her if she has found something that makes her feel better--I just don't want it pushed on me. So, now I'm angry and offended that she's trying to push it on me and she's mad at me that I won't just do it for her to make her happy. It's an upsetting situation.

But Dani is coming on Monday and I haven't seen her in forever and we're gonna have looootsa fuuuuun! That is, if I can stay awake. Getting into the whole waking-up-before-the-sun schedule is proving difficult. And I'm going to see Where the Wild Things Are on Tuesday and New Moon (That's right, I'm outing myself as a Twilight fan. Deal with it.) on Wednesday and then Turkey day on Thursday. It's gonna be a buuuuusy week of fun and deliciousness! And mice. :)

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 01:48:13 GMT

Started the new job yesterday :)

So far, so good--for the most part. I'm still at the point where I'm reading lots of SOP's and watching all the cheesy safety videos, but I did get to go down to the barrier rooms today. At first I was thinking, "How am I possibly going to do this every day?" Getting dressed out to go in is absolutely insane. There are 5 rooms, each room cleaner than the last. You go from in your street clothes in the first room to wearing scrubs, boots, boot covers, a hair net, safety glasses, a mask, gloves, and a lab coat in the fifth. Not to mention you strip out of your street clothes all together in the same room and have to get to the second in your undies. Yes, it's split into a guys room and a girls room, but I don't care. I'm not a naked person. I'm not comfortable taking my clothes off in front of other people. But I guess I'm just going to have to get over that. That, and we went over euthenasia procedures for about an hour today. But that's just part of the business, and I'm glad to be working for a company that respects its animals and the sacrifice they make for us. And as many as can be are donated to the zoo and animal rehab centers to be a delicious and nutitious snack for some carnivore.

BUT! Big butt (as Pam Trokanski would say). I got an email from the lady at the MBP today asking if I'm still interested in interviewing for a position in their cryopreservation and recovery lab. Of course I told her I'm still interested. It's my dream job! She did write, "interview" with quotations around it, though, and I'm not sure why. Maybe because I've already interviewed with her twice, so she just wants to know if I want to be considered for it? Nick suggested that maybe she already thinks I'd be good for it and just wants to know if I want it...which would be really awesome. It also pays quite a bit more and has better benefits, which will be helpful since I'm going to need to buy a new car in the very near future.

No matter what happens with the MBP I won't be tremendously disappointed because I how have a job that's at least close to home and in the general direction that I want to go.

uuuuugh

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 20:21:51 GMT

Apparently I'm a horrible driver. I got into another accident. The last one was my fault, but there were other powers that had a big hand in it (you know, night time, first rain, unfamiliar car...), but this time it was completely, 100% me being a dumbass. I was driving down a main road in San Carlos, ready to take the last load of my stuff back to Davis and be done with the Bay Area for good, and I just didn't see the stop sign. I went right through it going about 35 (not speeding, but probably faster than I should have been going)and hit head light to head light with a Jeep. We hit on the passenger side, where Nick was sitting, and fortunately he only bumped his head on the window and hit his leg on the door. He's sad he only has a little red bump to show for it. I am fine except for a fatty bruise on my chest from the seat belt and some burns and scratches on my face from the airbag. Did you know that there's dust in those things that burns you when it goes off? I didn't. That thing hurt, too. It was like the hardest, biggest slap in the face. At first I thought my whole face was broken because it just felt smooshed-in and numb. But then after a few minutes I could tell that it was only superficial. The EMT people wouldn't listen to me, though, and made me get on the back-board with a neck brace and everything. That was the scariest, because I couldn't see anyone or tell what was going on and Nick was talking to the Police, so I was stuck there with a bunch of people poking at me and asking a bagillion questions. I did convince them that I didn't need an IV in the ambulance, though, so that's good. I don't like getting stuck with needles in the first place, let alone in a moving vehicle.

I didn't get a chance to apologize to the other driver, who Nick tells me was fine and waved to us as the ambulance took off. I want to get her address, though, so I can send her flowers. Even if she is fine, it's still a huge inconvenience to have to deal with a car accident. Not to mention her car is probably totalled. And Nick's definitely is. That's 2 cars for me this year. I also want to get Debbie flowers, cause she drove all the way down there to get us and got everything figured out, so I was able to get my things out of the car at the tow yard. I'm pretty sure that's not how she wanted to spend her Saturday night.

And now I have to start a new job on Monday with a big ol' scratch on my noce and my chin/neck red and shiny from the burn. It's pretty hot. Yes, I know, the most important thing is that everyone is okay. Vicodin and I are becoming good buddies this weekend.

So, I was looking at the X-mas Victoria's Secret, and I was very disappointed by the Million Dollar Bra this year. It was only worth 3 million and had a tiny box in the corner of the page. It's usaully several hundred million and a huge 2-page spread. I look forward to the opulence every year. This is bogus!

Even if I have to show up looking like I lost a fight, I'm still super excited to start my new job :)

T-minus 3.5 hours

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 03:02:14 GMT

Only 3.5 more hours 'till I'm done with this job forever!!!

I have a dilemma. The stereo in my car is busted so I have to drive in silence. I want to buy a new one. My running shoes are super old and crappy and make my shins want to shatter with every step. I want to buy new ones. There's a really good sale at the Coach Outlet Store this weekend. I want to buy one. Student loans people are going to start attacking me next month, I think. I need to pay them off.

Can someone get working on that money tree invention? I could really use one right about now. Kthx :)

T-minus: 1 day, 1.5 hours

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 05:15:26 GMT

Only 1 day and 1.5 more hours 'till I'm done with this job forever.

Also only 1 day and 1.5 more hours 'till I'm done complaining about it. So I still have time for this one: As I've mentioned, this job is very physical. Lots of lifting and twisting and repetetive motions. It seems, however, that many of the men working here seem to think that many of the women are less capable of doing said lifting. Whenever there's a pallet to move or something that requires multiple people, I always hear, "can I get a couple of guys over here?" and a couple guys rush over to the person's aid, and the women don't even look up from what they're doing. And, yes, they really mean "guys" as in men rather as in people in general. And whenever I take the initiative to lift something even semi-heavy myself, there's always some dude rushing over to help me. Don't get me wrong, the sentiment is nice--as far as offering help--but I don't see it happening when a guy tries to lift something similar by himself. I am doing the same job as these guys, day in and day out (but only for 1 day and 1.5 hours more!!!), and I am fully capable of refusing to lift something if I really can't do it.

I really just don't like anyone assuming I can't do something. Ever. Is that oppositional? Am I being silly?

Edit: Not 10 minutes after I posted this I was standing around doing nothing and a guy no more than 5 feet away from me calls across the room for Max and Jumoke (2 guys) to give him a hand with stacking palletainers. I turn and say I can help, and he responds, "we've got it." WTF, mate?

T-minus: 2 days, 1.5 hours

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 04:56:39 GMT

Only 2 days and 1.5 more hours 'till I'm done with this job forever. Yay! A bad thing almost happened at work today: I had to get a TB titer at one of my physicals on Monday, so I had one of those little circle band-aids on my arm. I was on the line putting inserts in the boxes and it fell off and started going down the conveyor belt. I caught it before it went into any machines or anything, but it would have been bad if it had fallen into a box or something. How nasty would that be if you opened up a box of Tylenol or something and found a nasty band-aid?!?

AND, I did it! I ran two whole miles this morning without stopping :) I was having really bad shin problems yesterday, and I had to walk it off for a little while, which is the first time I've stopped to walk mid-run since I started. But today I ran through the pain (which wasn't nearly as bad as yesterday) and kept going for 8 laps even though I'd only planned on 7. Yay again! Here's to hoping that I can keep it up when my schedule shifts to a 7 to 4:30 job instead of 2 to 10:30...

Also

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 03:36:51 GMT

Usually I don't remember my dreams, but lately I've been having lots of very vivid and strange dreams. The other night I dreamt that I had two pet mice that kept getting out of their cages and I couldn't contain them no matter what I did. The reasons I have mice running around in my subconscious is pretty obvious. I also had a dream about a week ago that my mom killed herself very violently right in front of me, and then I had to convince Jim (my step-dad) from doing it too, because he'd somehow been communicating with her and they wanted to be together. I'm pretty sure that one is Pam's fault. Living with a woman who regularly tells me that her suicide is inevitable clearly doesn't sit well with my conscience. I often worry that I'll come home from work one night and she'll have taken a whole bottle of pills or something. The other roommate and I are both moving out of her house at the same time, and she's already having money troubles, so I'm feeling guilty that we're taking away a huge source of income for her. Not to mention the impending divorce from her alcoholic husband, current unemployment and potential career change when she does eventually find a job, and incurable chronic pain disease that causes constant burning in her face (or so she tells me). No one deserves that much pain in their life.

I'm knitting her a scarf to thank her for all of her help and advice (though often unwanted and miss-guided). I just want her to know that there are people in her life who care. She talks about suicide very passively, which bothers me a lot. But I don't want to tell her that, becuase if that's what makes it a little more bearable for her, then I can handle it. But I'm definitely glad to be getting out of that environment, as selfish as it may seem.

duuuuuuuuuumb

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 01:38:18 GMT

I was looking through the emails I have saved in my inbox, and noticed a reply that I sent to Sumner a while ago that said "thank's so much...". That's right--thank-apostrophe-s so much. I promise I'm really not that stupid! I hate it when people put apostrophes where they don't belong. I feel like a dummy.

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 07:34:15 GMT

It has been a very, very long day, so I'll make this brief:

I GOT THE JOB!!!

Not the Mouse Biology Program job (I still haven't heard back from that lady...), but the one I found on Craigslist for Jackson Laboratories. I did one interview for two positions: one doing mostly husbandry as a "custom breeding technician" and another doing lab work as an "In Vivo Laboratory Assistant". The interview went the way most interviews go--you think you did well, but don't really know--but when it was over, the HR lady came back in and said, "I'm not really supposed to do this, but they really liked you. They want you for both jobs." Yay! They've decided they're going to hire me for the custom breeding one because it's more entry level, and it will give me a chance to learn their facility and their process before they eventually move me into the lab.

I'm SO excited! No more pallet jacks! No more mean girls or Erich! In two weeks I'll be starting my career for real this time.

I will never bad-mouth Craigslist again.

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 04:47:45 GMT

I have been consistently running 5 days a week for four weeks. I feel accomplished :) It has come to the point that when I come home on the weekends and don't go for a run, the day just doesn't feel right. I feel like there's something missing. Don't get me wrong, some days I have to talk myself through every lap and just plain want to quit. But I don't! And that's the difference, I guess.

But I may also have developed some related injuries (I know--me with a sport-related rather than clumsiness-related injury is laughable...but it's true!). Just below my right knee cap has been bothering me a bit, as well as the bottom of my right foot. These may both be due to my crappy running shoes. I bought them for like $30 I think my sophomore year or maybe even in high school, just 'cause I needed some tennis shoes for whatever reason. I've never really had a need for good tennies before. And even now I'd rather spend the money on some cute flats or boots or something. Barbi's boyfriend works at Fleet Feet who is a marathoner says I should come in for a shoe fitting...but that sounds very expensive. And I really don't want to spend the money if this ends up being something that doesn't last. Who knows if I'll have the drive to wake up early for a run when I'm working 8 to 5 (It. Will. Happen. Soon. In a lab. With mices.) But I also don't want to push it so hard that I can't run.

I even arranged a job interview around my running schedule. I'm afraid that if I skip a day I might not want to run the next day, or the next and it'll just fall apart. So tomorrow morning I'll get up at 8, get gas and take Nick to class, drive to San Carlos, hopefully not encounter too much traffic since the stupid Bay Bridge is still closed and arrive no later than 10:30, go for my run, and be back and composed enough for my phone interview at 11:30. Then, I'll go to work, leave at 8:30 pm to get home no later than 10:30, and get enough sleep for my 8:00 in-person interview on Tuesday morning, drive back to San Carlos, run, eat, and go to work. It's going to be a very busy and high gas-consuming couple of days. These interviews better be worth it.

The interviews are for Jackson Laboratories in Sacramento as a "Custom Breeding Technician". I found the job on Craigslist the other day, doing animal husbandry of laboratory mice. Obviously I want to work in a lab, not as an animal tech, but the facility does a lot of research (some on infertility!!) and has more lab techy type jobs, so I think it would be a really good step in the right direction. Even if it doesn't pay that great (I don't know what it pays yet...and I hate asking that question in an interview) and not exactly what I want, it's got to be better than spending the $700/month on extra rent and gas money to work in SSF packaging drugs with ZERO job security. And the MBP job posting closed a week and a half ago and the lady hasn't contacted me regarding an interview, so I'm beginning to lose hope on that one.

Wish me luck! I really need it. I can't do this packaging gig for much longer.

Edit: I found this 10 minute "yoga for runners" thing that you're supposed to do after a run to increase your range of motion and avoid injury...I think I might do it.

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 23:28:24 GMT

Happy weekend ahead! After I get through one more work day, I'm goin' home. Hooray! Nick saw a flier on campus for a knitting group that meets on Saturdays, so I'm gonna go check that out get my knit on. And I've finally got my finances in order and have a little bit of money to burn, so I'm going shopping with Barbi on Sunday. And of course I have all of my TV to catch up on.

It's going to be a good weekend!

PS--Running is going very well. I'm addicted to endorphins :)

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 06:41:03 GMT

All I want to do is shop and knit. Which is bad, because money is super tight right now.

It's always about this time where I find dozens of patterns on Ravelry to make as gifts. So, my "favorites" tab is growing pretty out of control right now. Mostly just scarves and hats. I'm kind of obsessed with those slouchy beret-style hats right now. I even bought one at Target just so I can figure out the pattern and make one myself with better yarn. Except every time I attempt them, the guage is always way off and they come out HUGE (in fact, Nick's mom made me a hat a few years ago that came out ginormous, but gave it to me anyway because it was funny, and then last year I made a hat that came out way huge, so I gave it to her for xmas...and now we just pass them back and forth every year).

Anywho, I have to actually make this stuff in a timely manner this year. For Real. Last year I put off everything so much, or chose such involved patterns that I ended up having to make one really nice, detailed scarf and several last-minute very simple, boring scarves. I've been working on my mom's afghan for over a year, and it looks like it's gonna have to be an xmas gift and I'll have to find something else for her birthday...oops. Good thing she's probably forgotten that I'm even making it. Also, I hafta use up my yarn stash. It's getting ridiculous. Fortunately, my state of finances should help me to not buy lots and lots of pretty, pretty yarn for projects that may or may not ever begin/be finished.

And, lastly, I'd like to actually use my Ravelry account for things other than just pattern nabbing. I would like to take photos of the things I'm especially proud of, and let the pattern-maker know that I appreciate their work. I pretty much never keep the things I make, and then I never see them again. I wish I had photos of the purse I made for Barbi and the leafy scarf I made for my Aunt Rainy (which my Mom not-so-subtley pouted that I didn't give to her...she wouldn't even have used it!)--those projects I spent a particularly long time on and gave a lot of thought to.

So! I have to:
1. Start knitting nice (but not too nice) patterns, like, yesterday
2. Use up my yarn stash
3. Take photos of projects that deserve to be remembered
4. Only make gifts for people who might actually want them (it's such a bummer when you can tell someone is never going to use the item I just spent hours working on)

Knitting season is on, guys!

Oh, and I also have to venture out in crocheting a bit...we'll see about that one. My heart will always belong to knitting. Dani, come back to Davis so we can have knitting-while-eating-Chinese-food-and-watching-girly-movies-nights!

Wow, I wrote a lot about knitting. My bad. I like knitting.

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 18:27:17 GMT

Okay, so I'm not going to do that running program thing. I'm going to do it my own way. I just can't stick to someone else's schedule, and I think the way I'm doing it is going to work out just fine. We'll have to wait and see.

I'm SO excited about the mouse job! The supervisor who I've interviewed with twice (for different positions at the same place)remembered to email me when the job was posted, which I think is an excellent sign. If I didn't have a chance, why would she even bother? And she put a little smiley emoticon in the email, so I think that's an extra good sign.

I'm still working on the NY pics...I noticed I have an awful lot of animals from the Central Park Zoo, and quite a few of Nick and me, but not so many of the actual city. Oh, well.

Note to Self: Don't put cell phone in shorts while running. Sweat + Electronics = No Bueno. But where else to put it??

Things are looking up, I think :D

Running! Mice!

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 18:43:39 GMT

I couldn't start the running thing this week for several reasons--the main one being that I forgot to bring my running shorts down with me. So, I decided to start looking for good places around here. It's so hill-y all over, I can't just walk out the door and run. I found a nice little park about half a mile (up-hill) away that has two little baseball/softball diamonds (I don't know which, okay) and a quarter-mile dirt track around one of them. So yesterday I walked up there and explored a bit, and today I went up there and ran (in some boxers and bike shorts...not too comfortable or public-appropriate...but oh well) half a mile.

The question of how out of shape I am has officially been answered: very, but not as bad as I thought.

AND! My mouse job has been posted! They're calling it "IVF Cryo Technician" this time instead of just "Staff Research Associate". Wish me luck! I get a second chance to apply for my dream job. Ohboyohboyohboy!!!

Okay, shower time.

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 07:24:21 GMT

I can't sleep.

I'm ready to get back on my diet. I had lost almost 50 lbs this year, and then I graduated and had all that time to sit around while looking for jobs, and it just fell apart. I don't know how much weight I've gained back--I'll find out tomorrow morning when I weigh in (Idon'twanttosobad). I've gone back to a lot of very bad habits that I'd thought I'd left behind. I want to put them behind me for good.

I'd also like to try to incorporate some exercise this time around. I know I can handle the diet part, so now I just have to figure out some kind of fitness. Sumner has been talking about this running program in her lj, so I thought I'd be a copy-cat and give it a shot... we'll see how it goes. I've always wanted to be one of those people who enjoys running and being fit. And I don't think I've been in-shape even one day of my life. And now that I'm living in San Carlos with all this time in the mornings and the lovely Bay Area weather, I think now is a good time to try. Wish me luck!

Knitting season!!

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 05:06:16 GMT

I used my free day today to watch lots of Friends, eat ice cream, and work on the afghan I'm knitting for my momma.

Hopefully I'll be able to make some money tomorrow, but if not, I've got a long way to go on this project and not too much longer 'till her birthday.

I need to get back into crocheting, too. I just learned how to towards the end of summer/beginning of spring, when it's no longer yarn-craft season, so I didn't get a chance to make a whole lot. 'Cept a scarf, which I made in the class I took. Lemme know if you find any good patterns!

Edit: I was just cruising Ravelry for the first time in a while and found this neat pattern for a scarf that looks like a bunch of DNA double helices! It's not super obvivous, though...so just nerdy enough. I need to find an extra special swirly-colored yarn for it. Maybe there are some good yarn stores in the area. There certainly aren't any in Davis. If I was brave enough and good enough with using multiple colors, I'd try doing different colors for each base pair, but I think that would end up looking pretty messy and not reversible. This is a Dani and Julie project if I've ever seen one :D

Edit #2: I'm thinking about finishing my nautilus...I hate to waste the yarn and he's looking pretty ugly, but I also hate to leave a project unfinished. Yes, I have many in-progress projects that I plan on finishing one of these days, but I can't just not ever plan on finishing him.

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 19:29:16 GMT

So, I guess I don't get to work at all today. Fabulous.

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 06:14:19 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oP8SrlbpJ5A

Who knew she's actually a legitimate musician, not just a sensationalist with a record contract?

And does anyone know if there's a way to turn off my keyboard short-cuts? I have like a million that I'm unaware of, and I'm always accidentally hitting them and opening new tabs or weird tool bars.

In other news, I'm even more frustrated with work this week. Shocking, right?

(See, I just accidentally opened another tab with the last website I visited somehow when I meant to press the spacebar...)

Anyway, yesterday we found out that the lot of medicine (a lot is, like a batch. Like hundreds of thousands of vials) we were supposed to start packaging didn't pass its inspection for whatever reason, so we can't package it. And we were done with the other things/ couldn't start new ones for various reasons, so all the temps were sent home at 7:00 instead of the usual 10:30. And today I show up and they tell us that another lot has failed its inspection, which we were supposed to start on Thursday, and now thta's not going to happen either. They took volunteers to leave right then and their, and said everyone else has to leave at 7. Of course I didn't leave because I need the money, but there was nothing to do. I walked around a lot, played solitaire, got a couple of very drawn-out trainings for things that are way over my head anyway, so I'll just have to train again some time down the road. I stood and wiped down a conveyor belt for about half an hour. And apparently it could be like this all week.

I'm mostly frustrated because I'm here in San Carlos to work. I'm here paying a second rent and all this extra gas money to work. I'm away from my home and my life to work. And I can't work.

I'm tired of trying not to offend them. So many people there have attitute and a very obvious inferiority thing going on. I guess Genentech hires a lot of people fresh out of college to do this packaging gig, and then moves them around to positions more appropriate to their education and whatnot. Well, some people who have worked hard through 4(+) years of school and put themselves into student loan debt aren't interested in packaging. And I guess many of them have acted above those who are interested in packaging.

I worked hard in college and put myself into considerable debt and am not interested in packaging. However, I've worked really hard to let them know that I'd like to be in a lab and not make anyone feel like I think I'm above them or better than them. Because I don't think I'm better than anyone. It's just not what I want for my life and career. But everyoneis above cleaning the same spot on a conveyor belt for half an hour. I've had enough. I can do this if I'm doing something that's productive and legitimate work that's benefiting someone somewhere, but I can't sit around and wait and be busy just for the sake of being busy.

I know I should be happy to have a job when so many millions of people don't--including my own mother and landlady--but I'm not the kind of person who can go to work just for the paycheck. And if it keeps going like it is, that's the only reason to go. It's certainly the only reason I kept wiping down that conveyor belt today and the only reason I'm gonna drive up there tomorrow.

I'm such a whiner.

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 18:42:20 GMT

You guys, it's fall!!! I'm so excited! The wind is howling outside my window, blowing leaves across the driveway...of course I'm leaving the window open and piling the blankies on. Oh boy oh boy oh boy! Time for long sleeves and cute boots and warm cider and pumpkin lattes and I'M SO EXCITED!!!

PS--I bought that fried ice cream flavored ice cream I was eyeing the other day, and it's so good!

Nothing.

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 03:45:44 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXk_KVNfInU

Much better than the original, which I could not be more tired of (thanks a lot, Barbi's ringtone). I wish I could pull off that hair so bad... And I'll take her singing abilities, too, please. Thanks.

I'm thinking of applying for a job as a lab tech at the Primate Center. My gram wouldn't be too happy about that. She's one of those crazy animal rights people (read: PETA)--not that I have anything against animal rights, but she's one of those people who's much more compassionate about animal wellness than human wellness, and generally doesn't agree with using animals for laboratory research. It's definitely something I've struggled with and tried to rationalize as much as possible; I've seen some things in labs I've worked in that I don't necessarily agree with. For example, in a reproductive bio lab course I took last year, we did practice vasectomies and castrations on mice in a semi-sort-of-not-really-sterile facility (a barn with sterile gloves, sterile tools, and alcohol wipes). If they didn't make it, they didn't make it; if they did, good for you, they were going to be killed anyway. So, it was tough anesthetizing and cutting into a scared animal that I knew was going to die for my learning purposes. As much as I'm told, "they're bred for this purpose, don't worry about it" there's just something that makes me uneasy about the whole thing. A TA once told me that laboratory mice are responsible for saving more lives than firemen are (because they're involved in critical studies), so I try to keep that in mind in these situations. What's a scientist to do?

I didn't mean to get into all of that... it just kinda happened.

Anywho, I can't keep going to SF every weekend. It's too hard to come home and be home and then have to go back to living alone and to a job that doesn't appear to be getting me anywhere. Not to mention, paying two rents and all the gas money isn't gonna work out in the long-term. We'll see what happens in the next few months...

Puppy!

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 03:33:42 GMT

Nick was showing me pictures of his new friend's puppy, and I started to get very emotional... in a bad way. I've wanted a dog for so, so long and the day I can get one seems to be farther and farther in the future every time I think about it. Especially now that I've spent so much time by myself (and living with Pam's dog, Reesa). At the same time, I need to be in a financal place where I can afford a puppy as well as some consistency in my life to provide a stable home for it. And that's not in the forseeable future :(

However! We've made headway! Nick and I have agreed that once I'm back living in Davis full-time (which means finding a job in/near Davis...I'm working on it), pay off the money I owe my dad, and pay off my credit card, we'll discuss it with his parents. Since we're living in his grandmother's house and the landlords don't allow pets (even though we already have Shredder, who his parents ADORE! Sometimes Nick's dad comes over just to give her a piece of cheese or a spoonfull of tuna. Did I mention that they're both allergic to cats, but still want to see her and play with her all the time? And she's completely evil to them and bites them and once scratched his gram on her face...they still love 'er), we have to consult them before we do anything. If they say no, then we'll start looking for another place to live where we can have a dog.

I know that sounds like a lot of "if"s and "when"s, but it's much better than just being told, "no" all the time. At least I have something to work towards and know that it's pretty much up to me and within my control..and forseeable!!!

Yeah. I'm excited :D That's all.

Good day :) and boots!

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 06:31:37 GMT

Today was a pretty good day! This morning I told myself that it was going to be, so I made it be. I got to do a couple of new things at work today, so that was nice. And I actually felt usefull--not just the trainee who can't do anything without someone looking over her shoulder.

I know I've been quite the Negative Nelly lately, so just one more negative thing: You know how some people are just SO annoying that eventually you lose sight of why you originally thought they were annoying, and just everything--from their actions to their FACE--annoys the crap out of you? That's how I feel about this guy Erich. I'm generally a very non-confrontational person, but when I see this guy I just want to get up in his face and tell him how annoying he really is. But I won't. That would probably get me fired. And it's not very nice. But SO true!

Anywho, I promise I'll post some NY pics soon. For real! In the mean time, here's a pic of the boots I bought in the ginormous Macy's (http://www.shoemall.com/product/BCBGeneration-Womens-Frank-Boot-Tmoro-160181&cpncode=18-43984533-2&srccode=cii_16776730&style=160181&KeyCode=SMJQ985/) Note: I never spend this much on shoes (in fact, I didn't, I got 20% off for some unknown reason...but if I could afford to spend that much on shoes on a regular basis, I just might), but I was in NY and have been searching for the perfect boots forever...don't judge me!